Friday, December 25, 2009

Niece's bat mitzvah

My great niece Rebecca Sandvos celebrated her bat mitzvah last Saturday morning, December 19, at the Congregation Shir Tikvah in Winchester, Massachusetts, a suburb of Boston. Rebecca, who likes to be called Becki (and spell it that way), was named for my mother, Rebecca.

Becki is the daughter of my niece Elissa Ely and her husband Jay Sandvos, who live in another piece of Boston suburbia, Belmont. Becki was surrounded by grandparents and friends and relatives from near and far.

With no coercion, Becki chose to undertake the considerable preparation necessary for her bat mitzvah (whch, unlike old days when the ceremony was restricted to boys, includes girls now as well). She recited the week's portion of the Torah, then, for the first time, carried the Torah aloft around the sanctuary and delivered her own brief sermon. After the service, attendees enjoyed a lunch in the synagogue.

In the evening, Elissa and Jay hosted a dinner dance at the Doubletree Guest Suites in Waltham, yet one more Boston suburb, where many out-of-town guests were staying. Becki had invited some 30 girl friends, plus 3 boys, and in all 100 people enjoyed loud music and great food. Using their family connection to the Almighty, a major snowstorm waited until after midnight, when the party had ended.

The next morning some family members gathered at Jay and Elissa's house for a traditional Sunday brunch while Jay undertook snow clearing outside. Finally, out-of-town guests packed up to leave for home, grateful for a wonderful weekend and for being part of an honored Jewish tradition.

The overall topic of this blog is living alone, so how did I feel about being perhaps the only ongoing unattached adult (plus one of the few gay men) there for the weekend? I have of course experienced that before--anyone in my situation past a certain age surely has. But I have been part of my niece Elissa's life since she was born--we are very close--and I was glad to attend, even single. For years I've had "Uncle Stanley" on my name tag as provided long ago by Elissa and her sister Marcia, and I was glad to attend as Uncle.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Different Generations

It doesn't require the approaching year end to remind me of the passing, hurrying by, of time, but such moments help. Last night I had dinner with my great nephew Jonathan who is already early 30's and a successful businessman and who lives here in New York. He is from my sister's side of the family.

This weekend I'll go to Boston for the bat mitzvah of my great niece Rebecca, who likes to be called Becki and, yes, spells it that way, and who is from my brother's side. She is almost 13, that great moment in a Jewish kid's life when, if a boy, he becomes (theoretically) a man, and if a girl, a woman. Rebecca--I may be the only one who still likes to call her that--is, in the Jewish tradition, named for a deceased relative, my mother, who would have been her great grandmother. I'm very close to Elissa, Rebecca's mother and my niece, the elder daughter of my brother Jerome who died a sad death years ago just at age 38. Elissa was 6 when her father died, her sister Marcia 4. They lived in Stamford, I in New York City, and I've been a strong presence in their lives from that time on.

This sounds a little complex but boils down to my attachment to the next generation, or even one more down. At my age, and single, I value--cherish--these relationships and hope they last and even provide comfort and support as I get older. That may not happen, it may be a vain wish, but maybe not. If you live alone (overall subject of this blog), such closeness could be a great tonic to old age.

I think I'll tell them that!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Radio Time

Sunday night (November 29) I had fun debuting as a voice on radio. I was interviewed on blogtalkradio.com (or maybe three words) with the host Brian Sandell who had invited me on his program on that site.
The program is called "Before Bedtime," the hour being past 10 P.M. here in the East. Brian interviews different people in the arts on Sunday night, and he does a good job of combining questions that he peppers his guests with, allowing them then to speak on their own. I shared the program wih another writer, but for about 20 minutes I talked about my book "Living Alone Creatively," and that was plenty of time to say what I wanted to say.
The next day I played back the interview (anyone can, at that site, under "Before Bedtime,") and decided, yes, I definitely have a future in talk radio--if I can get rid of the Texas twang.
 

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